There’s this misconception I see spreading on many reals and posts on social that in order to live a happy authentic life you simply need to make some cuts. Quit the boring job, leave the spouse, stop eating sugar, get better sleep, start fresh, follow your dreams, turn your hobby into a job. It sounds so simple, and so….fake. You may or may not benefit from any of the above, and likely your life will change drastically. But in order to make a real shift from a life on auto pilot or survival mode to feeling joy, purpose and authenticity, you need to do the work within your internal world before considering what changes may help externally.
Internal work is a combination of self discovery and realization as well as learning new tools, concepts and perspectives that will all guide you in creating aligned action towards a vision for your life true to you. Journaling, reading, researching, coaching, therapy and listening to podcasts focused on growth are some of they ways you can begin doing this work.
Some topics typically covered in my coaching programs can also double as journal prompts to get you started.
Consider some of the follow to answer the question, who am I really?
What are my core values?
What are my goals?
What matters to me, and what does not?
How do I spend my free time?
What fears have been holding me back?
What beliefs have I been holding on to and how are they effecting my day to day life?
What does a happy purposeful authentic life even look like for me?
Perhaps absolutely nothing needs to change in your life except your mindset, or maybe every does? The biggest change could come from tiny actions each day that are dedicated to your personal growth and happiness.
You may find that it makes the most sense to keep the job and work on balance and time management. Or maybe that job is sucking every bit of joy out of your day and its time to freshen up the resume. Maybe you want to start therapy with your spouse or simply have more date nights. You likely really do need more sleep (don’t we all?) So what are some ways you can make that happen? Cutting sugar all together might be unrealistic and not even align with your goals, but eating more veggies and learning to cook healthy meals with your kids is exactly the kind of family activity you’ve been needing. Perhaps you don’t even have a hobby and you decide its about time you took that dance class, or programming course or learned to play guitar. Maybe you do want to switch careers, but you’ll need to upgrade some skills in the evenings while you work in the meantime. Perhaps the things that brought you joy are they things you don’t feel you have the for anymore, or feel guilty about making the time for.
It does not have to be all or nothing.
In fact, the all or nothing mindset is one of the most common limiting beliefs that hold people back from taking action towards the things they want.
It’s possible to find ways to create more joy in your life while earning that much needed paycheck every two weeks. But first, work on becoming really clear on what matters most to you and what blocks you face internally and externally; then you can start thinking about action steps.
In the meantime, don’t get too caught up in the fantasy that a big external change will magically fix everything.
Do the work.
Mendara Lynn – Associate Certified Coach (ICF) Founder, Mindset Academy
If you want to take these prompts even further and start experiencing exponential growth in your life, let’s chat about 1:1 coaching packages. Click the link for my contact page.
