“Just stay positive” can be poor advice.
It’s usually very well meaning, and coming from a place of a caring heart. It also sometimes can be all we need to bring on a fresh perspective, but more often it’s not helpful in the moments where we cant see any positivity at all.
The best way to truly move towards positivity is by becoming more mindful of where your current feelings are coming from in this first place. People tend to get uncomfortable talking about “negative feelings,” In reality they deserve some attention too. On the big spectrum of emotions, usually those ones people consider “negative” are coming from a place of fear, our inner critic or Rebel Mind. So called positive feelings are coming from a place of love, or our most authentic self.
We often want to rush out of those negative feelings as fast as we can, but it can be beneficial to take some time to reflect first. Digging beneath the stress, the fear, the overwhelming weight of the world, the tiredness, the grief, the sadness, the jealousy.
What is there for you?
Allow yourself the amount of depth and time that you need to visit that feeling. Have you been triggered? What is causing that for you?
Some simple ideas to try out when reflecting through the emotions could be, journaling, crying as a release, venting to a friend, walking silently in nature, meditate, hire a coach, do yoga, see a psychologist / therapist ….keep going.
Whatever it takes get to the root.
You need to begin the journey to healing it and eventually, surrendering and letting it go. Finding that root of the emotion helps to heal what’s beneath the fear or the pain. It also allows you to become more mindful of your triggers and fears when you do the work.
Its also helpful to be mindful of your perspective vs reality of the situation. Consider if you may be exaggerating the situation in your mind, or perhaps worrying about something that is not even current reality. Be mindful of your own role. Be mindful of what you can do in this moment to move just one little step closer to that positivity everyone seems to talk about.
The goal isn’t to be positive 24/7 in every situation. The goal is to figure out how to feel all the feelings that come up and know you have the ability to make that shift and bring yourself back.
Developing this kind of mindfulness and self awareness is the key to truly making this shift into positivity. Eventually you’re having a rough time and someone says “Stay Positive” the foundation you already built is there, and it actually becomes easier to say “yes, you’re right,” and mean it.
