Overcoming fear is tough for all of us, especially the little ones. This year, my oldest child started kindergarten. As many of you know from having been here yourself, this can be a really tough transition for the child and for the parents. Starting daycare, starting school, even the start of each new school year with a new class and teacher. It can bring up a lot of emotions. Worry, anxiety, excitement, anticipation, to name a few. And of course the big one, fear.
What do we tell our kids when they are afraid to start school?
It will be ok
You will love it
It will get better
You will make new friends
You will learn new things
Its safe there
All the kids go, you have to go too
Whatever it is we tell them, it all comes back to the same root message.
There is something good on the other side of fear.
This is a message they need to hear, but its also a message we all need to hear. It applies so often in our lives and its important to remember.
There’s a big difference between fear of a real danger or threat vs the type of fear we face daily. However our body cant always make that connection; once our mind tells us to be afraid we react physically and emotionally to that fear. Our heart races, we might get sweaty or start breathing faster and then often we run or freeze. It’s our nature. That primal part of our brain instinctually reacts to the fear and assumes the worst, we go into “fight, flight, or freeze” mode the second fear strikes.
In a child starting school, this could look like tantrums, crying, running away, hiding, acting out in class, closing off emotionally, not speaking, asking to stay home.
As adults, we do the same thing. It just looks a little different.
We avoid talking to people. Procrastinate our goals. Stay in jobs we hate. Quit jobs we don’t feel good at. Sabotage relationships. Count ourselves out without applying. Hold on to patterns that no longer serve us. Skip the tryouts. Never audition. Delete our social media posts. Stay in bad relationships. Give up before we try. Take 50 pictures for social but never post a single one. Avoid Mirrors. Never step on a scale. Don’t want to go to a gym. Never tell the person how we really feel. Spend time with people we don’t even like. Get a degree we aren’t interested in. Keep every penny we have in a savings account.
We do countless things we don’t like
And we avoid or put off things we would enjoy.
All of it because of fear.
These fears and limiting beliefs we hold around them; they hold us back from experiences our authentic self longs for.
What if we told ourselves the same thing we would tell our child who is afraid to go to school? With the same kindness and authenticity we use when we look them in the eye and tell them, it will be ok. There is something good on the other side of that fear. How would that feel, if you truly believed those words when a fear tried to block you from something you needed.
To me, it feels almost like a hug for my true self.
Become more mindful of your fears. recognize when they pop up and look yourself in the mirror and say those kind words you need to hear. Take a deep breath and step right into fear. Onto the bus and into the school with courage in your heart. The task will not be easier all of a sudden, but now it’s possible.
Overcoming fear and limiting beliefs is one of the sections in my upcoming course. The Power of Mindset. Read more about the course by clicking below.
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